Floating Along...

I'm still here.. I'm a mess still and I keep wondering when that is going to improve.. then I realize it has improved.. I'm in a much better place now than I was 6 months ago, 4 months ago, and even 2 months ago.. heck, I'm better than I was two weeks ago.... But I'm still a mess... My head is clearer my focus is better (and not just because of new contacts/glasses) and I'm feeling a lot better about things and myself.. but I'm not as clear and focused as I should be normally... time and patience I guess...I'm not crying every day anymore.. and the emotional roller coaster is slowing and less intense. I'm happier more of the time, and able to talk about certain things now without tearing up or having that all too common this spring/summer searing knife feeling in my chest..

The show was very good for me.. the cast bonded well, and were a great support net for each other, which I really needed. And my character gave me a lot of confidence in areas that were needed as well. AND being around people was a tremendous help. I have my weakest moments when I'm home alone and lonely.. I don't miss the EX. I do miss having someone here, especially someone to help me with stuff. (Which the EX wasn't always so good at, but he did help out with stuff) I get overwhelmed with things I need to do, but that could be the lack of focus coming into play, and just general weakness from the whole ordeal. I need a vacation.



Photo of the Cast of The Art of Dining. I'm in the Eggplant and Black dress.

I've really been in the mood to dance... I'm not talking going out to a club and dancing.. I'm meaning in someone's arms.. you know the romantic kind like in the old movies.. (that isn't missing the EX talking either, because he never did this kind of stuff..).. I'm feeling starved for romance..(part of this might be coming from me wearing dresses everyday since sometime during the summer, but they help me feel better too.) I "won" tickets to a Michael Buble concert coming up soon, and maybe that will help cure then yen for dancing.. or at least subdue it some. I'm not the biggest Buble fan, but do like that style of music. {****Edited because a girl has a right to change her mind****} if the concert doesn't help, the annual arts ball is rapidly approaching... I'm very much looking forward to it this year.. I'll be able to stay and dance there, which I haven't been able to do in years past due to said EX. AND I have a VERY CUTE DRESS for this year's event.

I'm confidant the healing will continue, and maybe I'll be able to get on with everything with new focus and new perspective soon.. even more than I've already found.

I love you, my friends... Thanks for being there.