are we there yet?

Wow... yeah... it's been a year... strangely enough I feel pretty good. My head feels clearer than it has in a really long time. But first, let me update you on the last three months.. since I haven't blogged since October..

The night of the Vice-presidential debate, October 2, I went over to a friend's house to watch it, as I don't have TV right now, and he had T-voed it.. while I was there I ended up asking him to the Michael Bublé concert I think I mentioned in a previous post. He agreed and we went to the concert the following evening.. it turned out to be a nearly perfect first date.. we've been friends for nearly 3 years, but I'm still learning about him, and he really surprised me that night.. we've been dating ever since... taking things slowly.. which is really nice.. During October we attended a lot of plays and a fundraiser for our local arts center. Towards the end of the month, I was told that my father's chemo had stopped working, so I took a few days and went up to see him. Early November brought performances of a show I'd been in rehearsal for, and shortly after that closed was Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was hard. My father seemed much weaker than he had even a couple of weeks earlier, and that saddened me. Mom thought it best if I stay in a motel rather than at the house, which was probably better for my psyche, but I'm not sure if it was better for my dad or not.. that weekend while at a movie with a friend, (My dad had taken to going to bed as early as 7 pm) I fell going up the aisle to the restroom during the movie.. I wiped out.. faceplant and all.. my upper arm took the brunt of the fall, and fortunately it was nearing the end of the film.. I didn't realize how much pain I was in.. and once I'd returned to the theatre from the restroom, didn't pay a lot of attention to the film, and probably nearly passed out.. but didn't.. I went straight to the store afterwards and bought frozen peas to go on it since they don't puddle like ice does.. drove home the next day..

A week later, while I was carrying laundry downstairs to wash, I fell down about half my staricase, because my arm was still hurting me, I tried not to injure it further by landing on it again.. my elbow got caught, and I did another faceplant.. this time I'm surprised I didn't break my nose or something.. more iced peas.. the following night I returned home to find that my house had been broken into.. the police think it was kids looking for some quick cash, they went straight for the bedroom, and they did a number on it... lost some money and some jewelry.. mostly of sentimental value.. (like 4 of the 5 rings I made in February... and they got the "breakup earrings") My new beau was very good through all this.. he helped me clean up the glass cover the broken window, and change the locks, and has told me I'm not allowed to climb any trees, ride any motorcycles or horses....We had a really great time together at my office Christmas Party, which was on the 12th a Friday, that Sunday, I learned my father had passed away.... that party seems like an eternity ago now.. he was really good then too though, he came and got me out of the house and tried to cheer me up.. took me shopping at Target, and to dinner, we watched a DVD and before he left he asked if I were going to be all right that night, and that I should call him if I needed him, that he didn't mind..

Most of my cousins made it in for the Funeral, so that was a good thing.. seeing everyone together at once..something that will be even more rare in the future. The funeral was nice, as was the internment. We all went to dinner together and several of us had breakfast together the following morning as well. I stayed through the rest of the weekend and got to see some friends in addition to taking care of some stuff.

I think I'd be a lot more upset if I hadn't gone through all the other crap that has happened this year. I'm either worn out cried out and numb, or all the crap made me stronger to be able to deal with this or some combination there of.. I do know that new Beau has been a great help to me, and he keeps passing these "tests" and if he can deal with me like this.. in good times, it should be smooth sailing.. but I would like some time to test that theory.. but the cloudy head from the summer is gone, the intense emotional roller coaster is as well... I hope that is a sign of healing for sure.. and while there are no guarantees that next year won't be crap filled as well, it would appear I'm better equipped to deal with it now..

Happy Holidays everyone and have an especially Fabulous New Year.. I know I'm going to try...